john row
10-21-2000, 12:00 AM
Subject: Different Kinds of Idiots
IDIOTS IN SERVICE
This week, all our phones went dead and I had to call the phone repair
people. They promised to be out between 8 a.m. and 7 p.m. When I asked if
they could give me a smaller time window, he asked and I quote, "Would you
like us to call before we come?" He also requested that we report future
outages by e-mail. Does YOUR email work without a telephone line??????
IDIOTS AT WORK
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed
that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She
informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed.
When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the
signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt. So I
signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the
signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they
matched.
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local
township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing
sign on our road. The reason: Too many deer were hit by cars and he no
longer wanted them to cross there.
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE
We went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco, asking the
individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry,
but they only had iceberg.
IDIOTS AT THE AIRPORT
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport employee
asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"
I said, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled and
nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask."
IDIOTS ON THE ROAD
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the street. I
was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine when she asked
if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explain that it signals blind people when
the light is red. She responded, appalled "What on earth are blind people
doing driving?"
IDIOTS IN MANAGEMENT
At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the company
due to "downsizing" our manager spoke up and said, "This is fun. We should
have lunch like this more often." Not another word was spoken. We just
looked at each other like deer staring into the headlights of an approaching
truck.
IDIOTS WITH COMPUTERS
I worked with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and
for the life of her, could not understand why her system would not turn on.
IDIOTS IN GENERAL
When my wife and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our
car, we were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it. We went to
the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the
driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger's side, I instinctively
tried the door handle and discovered it was open. "Hey," I announced to the
technician, "it's open". The young man answered, "I already got that side."
***** There, now don't you feel better? And aren't you DELIRIOUSLY HAPPY that some people don't carry knives!!! *****
IDIOTS IN SERVICE
This week, all our phones went dead and I had to call the phone repair
people. They promised to be out between 8 a.m. and 7 p.m. When I asked if
they could give me a smaller time window, he asked and I quote, "Would you
like us to call before we come?" He also requested that we report future
outages by e-mail. Does YOUR email work without a telephone line??????
IDIOTS AT WORK
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed
that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She
informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed.
When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the
signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt. So I
signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the
signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they
matched.
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local
township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing
sign on our road. The reason: Too many deer were hit by cars and he no
longer wanted them to cross there.
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE
We went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco, asking the
individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry,
but they only had iceberg.
IDIOTS AT THE AIRPORT
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport employee
asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"
I said, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled and
nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask."
IDIOTS ON THE ROAD
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the street. I
was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine when she asked
if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explain that it signals blind people when
the light is red. She responded, appalled "What on earth are blind people
doing driving?"
IDIOTS IN MANAGEMENT
At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the company
due to "downsizing" our manager spoke up and said, "This is fun. We should
have lunch like this more often." Not another word was spoken. We just
looked at each other like deer staring into the headlights of an approaching
truck.
IDIOTS WITH COMPUTERS
I worked with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and
for the life of her, could not understand why her system would not turn on.
IDIOTS IN GENERAL
When my wife and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our
car, we were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it. We went to
the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the
driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger's side, I instinctively
tried the door handle and discovered it was open. "Hey," I announced to the
technician, "it's open". The young man answered, "I already got that side."
***** There, now don't you feel better? And aren't you DELIRIOUSLY HAPPY that some people don't carry knives!!! *****