Training This Week [Archive]

Jimd

05-05-2008, 07:01 PM

All this week, I'm receiving more training at our central training academy. I figured it would be another ho-hum, boring course. I was wrong. Dead wrong.

The course is called the Impact of Crime Instructor Course. It's designed to be facilitated to inmates, to hit home exactly how far-reaching their criminal acts can be, and let them know how many people one act can impact.

When I arrived for class this morning, there was a box of tissues on each desk. Noticing that, I joked with the instructors, "Hey, I hope we won't be bored to tears - that's not what the Kleenex are for, are they?"

Laughing, they told me it was going to be a very emotional week. They weren't joking.

Every day, we are having guest speakers in the class who are actual crime victims. Normally, they speak to inmates in the prisons, but they're speaking to us to authenticate the impact of crime.

Today, the lady who spoke to us lost three members of her family. Her daughter and her two grandsons (ages 2 and 3). Turns out her son-in-law (the daughter's husband and childrens' father) was abusive. Their relationship concluded when the family was sleeping one night and he poured a trail of gasoline up the stairs and into her room. He then lit it.

He was the only one who made it out of the house alive. The mother and two children perished. The baby was in his crib, and on the videotape of the burned-out house, taken a few weeks after the fire, we could see the outline of the baby's body on the mattress of the crib.

Up until that point, I'd been fighting back the tears. When I saw that tiny outline in the crib, I lost it. I almost had to leave the room, because memories of when my wife and I had to bury our own son came flooding back.

Hearing this poor woman tell the story was almost too much. She told the entire story of how her daughter was slowly possessed by this guy. The few visits she got with her grandsons. The fights her daughter had with this a$$hole. And finally, the last night she spoke to her daughter, three hours before she was murdered.

At 12:25, she awoke with a start and told us she knew there was something wrong, but she didn't know what, or with whom. At 2:32, she received the phone call that began her living nightmare.

I just cannot fathom murdering a mom and her two children. Hearing this story tore at my soul. In fact, it did more than that, but I honestly can't even put it into words.

This was only day one. We will go until Friday. So far, this is the most powerful training I've ever received.

In a day or two, I'll post a link to the website where this woman's story (and others) can be seen.

amen74

05-05-2008, 07:29 PM

What a horrible tragedy. My heart goes out to the grandmother. Sounds like you have a tough week ahead of you. A very important one.

Jimd

05-05-2008, 07:52 PM

What a horrible tragedy. My heart goes out to the grandmother. Sounds like you have a tough week ahead of you. A very important one.

Hopefully, this will make me a better instructor, father, husband, and person. I also hope that I can pass on this knowledge to help others. I sure as hell don't want to go through all of this for no reaon!

tonydahose

05-05-2008, 08:00 PM

I remember sitting in the academy classes watching a slide show of abused kids/babies....those pictures came right back into my head as soon as i started reading this thread, i am sure it was hell for you to sit through that especially after losing your own child... my condolences go out to you on your loss. stay safe
tony

Agent Starling

05-05-2008, 08:20 PM

Oh, man, that must be tough...I don't think I could sit through more than 1 day of such a class, that would be way too sad; but alas, this is real life, too, unfortunately...and I'm sure that what you are being trained for is not for naught...it will help people, and I suppose that is what will make it all worth it...after all, what are we all here for, I sometimes think, if not to be of service to others...? :)

I forget which poet wrote this, but the line goes something like this:
"man is made for joy and woe"...how true, but how difficult it is to accept the "woe" part!

Agent Starling :D

Jimd

05-06-2008, 07:59 PM

Day two of training. More depressing sadness.
Today, an older gentleman related the story of how his 12-year-old niece (his sister's daughter) was murdered. As he related the story, he did it so vividly that I was transported to the time and place it happened. I could feel the terror. I could feel his energy, his anger, his despair.

Kelly was a country girl, 12 years old. Completely innocent. She was going to a ball game with the neighbors, and they were supposed to pick her up at 7:00. She was so excited that she asked her mom if she could walk to the neighbors' house, rather than wait for them to pick her up. Her mom agreed, but told her to phone as soon as she got there. What could happen, it was only a 5-minute walk? Plus, it was a back-country road.

A half hour passed, with no call from Kelly. John, her brother (the man who spoke in our class), went to have a look. He found Kelly's blanket and purse lying along the road, with no sign of Kelly. The police were called. Search parties were formed and sent out; State Police, the Boy Scouts, everyone. The minister arrived on scene for support. Keep in mind, Kelly's mom was pregnant with their 7th child.

Hours passed. Finally, the phone rang and the minister answered it. He hung up and told John to come outside. Two troopers put them in a cruiser and drove them down the road. In a tree, they saw a bright light mounted, illuminating the crime scene. The police told John they'd found her body, and that they needed him to identify her. John told them no way, he couldn't do it. When they told him the only other option was to have his sister, Kelly's mom, would have to identify her. John then agreed.

He identified her body in the woods. The killer had hit her in the head three times with a ball-peen hammer. The first blow went into her skull two inches, likely killing her. They later learned from the killer that he pulled over and asked her the time. She said, "I'm not allowed to talk to strangers." He then jumped out of the car and opened the trunk, and she screamed. She said, "My dad will give you money if you let me go." Then he killed her. As she lie on the road, he picked her up by the throat (in court, he said, "I held her like a ****ing cat" as he demonstrated with outstretched arms). He then dragged her into the woods and raped her. As he arose from on top of her, she made a sound, so he picked up a rock and slammed it into her forehead.

John explained how they broke the news to Kelly's mom. It was not pleasant, obviously.

They begged the undertaker to make her look good for the open casket. It took nineteen hours of hard work to make the little girl presentable for the funeral. John said if it hadn't been for her long, blonde hair, they couldn't have done it. And the bruises from his hands around her throat were visible. They shined purple lights her her body for the viewing to hide the bruises.

John took a picture of Kelly from his wallet and passed it around the class. That's when I couldn't hold back the tears any longer. I looked around, not seeing many dry eyes. She was an innocent 12 year old girl. Her murder took place 38 years ago. For John, it was like yesterday; and we felt the same way.

As John described the trial, we felt frustrated, as well. At that time, the victim's family could have no statements in the court regarding how the murder affected them. But the killer had over a dozen people testify for him, what a great person he was, all that crap. But they'd caught him, and he had his blood-soaked clothing in his laundry hamper. He eventually confessed. Before sentencing, the judge asked him if he was sorry for what he did. "Hell no." The judge asked him if he'd ever do anything like this again, given the chance. "Absolutely."

With that, the judge said, "I'm not going to sentence you to death." He gave him life in prison.

John and his sister have been trying to meet with this monster. Her sister wants to meet so she can forgive him before she dies (she's 71); she's Christian, and doesn't want to go to hell for not forgiving him. Thus far, he's not responded to their requests to have a mediation. In PA, if the inmate agrees, he can meet with the family, in the event they want to ask questions of him or what have you.

This story impacted me so much. While my wife and I were on our walk tonight, I told her about John and how it affected him, and how John's story affected us. I dared not tell my wife any details of the story, although she asked if it involved a child. When I told her it did, she said, "I'm sorry, I'd like to listen to it, but I just can't." I told her I completely understood, which I do; no sense depressing my wife, too. I carried this sadness with me all day. Had a few tears on the walk and felt a bit better afterward.

How, how in the world can people do this to each other? How? She was a kid.

stonyman

05-06-2008, 10:02 PM

Jimid, this is what fuels the fire of the true leo's out there. This will no doubt give you the extra incentive to keep going and standing for what is right. It made me once again reiterate why I chose this field and Doc, kaligman, raven, daywalker and some of the others on here, thank you guys for taking a stand against these senseless acts of violence.

Thank you for this, it is humbly Jimid and God Bless you bro, we are here for you!

gac

05-06-2008, 10:18 PM

Thanks for posting.

Jimd

05-07-2008, 08:35 PM

Thanks so much, guys; knowing you're out there, supporting us, truly does make a difference in our morale.

This week as been such an experience. I can barely put it into words. I'm mentally drained. When these people talk to us, their pain, energy, sadness, it's all palpable. We can feel it, plain as day.

Today, the MADD organization visited us. We talked with a woman who had gone shopping with her husband, her two teenaged kids (son & daughte) and teenage neighbor girl.

A 19-year-old kid was driving drunk with a 22-year-old drunk passenger in a Firebird. Just ahead of this poor family were three motorcycles. He missed the first one, clipped the second one, and hit the third bike, ripping the rider's leg off.

Next, the kid hit the station wagon that this woman and her family were driving in. She remembers nothing of the crash. It occurred on September 25, 1999, and she woke up some time in the month of December, since she'd been under an induced coma due to her injuries. She was the only survivor, the rest of her family was dead and buried. Both her kids and her husband.

The courage this woman displayed in telling her story blew every one of us away. Not once did she complain or ask for pity; all she did was tell it like it was. A heart-wrenching tragedy that defied description.

Tomorrow is day four of the training. This is so much more intense than I'd ever believed it would be.

vampyrewolf

05-07-2008, 09:52 PM

Jimd

05-08-2008, 08:11 PM

reading these tales that the survivors had the ability to share with you, and through you to us, are what make humanity what it is... a precious commodity. thank you for enduring and sharing, so that the reason we have law enforcement doing the job they do get the limelight it deserves.

Usually all we see on the news is when the police screw up, not when you guys do your job right. And we never hear what happens inside the walls, so you must be doing it right.

thank you for a job well done
**slaps Jim on the back**

Thanks, brother. Honestly, I feel drained and used up. The stories of these victims and survivors has really taken a toll this week (not to mention the everyday stress we've been under from just doing the "regular" job). So far this week, I've allowed myself a short crying session every day. Gotta let off the extreme sadness somehow.

Hearing these peoples' stories has just been so damn touching, and it's really affected me. I feel so badly for them, I wish I could somehow help them. But there's just no way to take away the intense pain they're dealing with. You can't replace murdered family members, and dead children.

Words do not even begin to express the sadness.

Jimd

05-09-2008, 02:23 PM

We wrapped up the training today. Definitely the most intense educational experience I've ever been involved in, and that's counting my job and college. The instructors were phenomenal and the guest speakers truly made the class what it was.

Here's a link to a website that one of the victim speakers gave us. They're very active in this type of education: www.rttv.org. Pat Lupson, the president, is the one who spoke to us. Her story is on there, and it's very touching and intense. Do not expect dry eyes by the time you finish reading it. It's one thing to read it, but to hear Pat tell the story herself is 1,000% more intense and emotion-provoking.

This experience will remain with me always. And I will do my job better and become a better person for it; otherwise, the victims will have died for no reason.

raven

05-09-2008, 02:51 PM

Hey Big Jimd, This Is One For You and All Of The Victims Out There... About 2 months ago I arrested a man for Domestic Violence. He'd Beat Up His Girlfriend So Badly ... I Literally Had To Hold Back From Taking This Guy Apart. Anyway, about a week ago My Report and Testimony put Him Away for 4 Years!!! Apparently he had a history of Domestic Violence and No One Could Get The Charges to Stick, because she'd always take him back and backtrack on everything she'd say, because of her fear of Him. After talking to her and and convincing her that she may Be Killed One Day. I got her convinced that he'd be put away... Well, It Came To Pass Bro ;) . 1 Down Many More To Go, but that's one less to worry about for now.

I also got word that an Arsonist I had dealt with is taking a felony plea to do prison time, because our investigation and evidence against was to much for his attorney to handle. This guy BLEW UP a two story home, killing several dogs and the owner lost everything she ever had. Another Down Bro ;) .

I Give My Word As A Sworn Peace Office To Do The Very Best I Can To Keep Pushing Forward and Show The Victims ... There Is Hope and There Are Some Of Us Out There That Really Do Care ;) . Take Good Care Bro and Be Safe Always. Just thought I'd Share.

God Bless :)

-raven-

Agent Starling

05-09-2008, 08:41 PM

Dr. Snubnose

05-10-2008, 01:52 AM

Jimd

05-10-2008, 04:44 PM

Jim: Thanks for Sharing...truly an emotional drain for all those involved...just your take on this from your vantage point....
1.How does this type of training benefit the Instructors?
2. What kind of Impact can this training do to heighten the awareness of the inmate?
3. After attending this course, what exactly do the Instructors do to facilitate awareness in the inmate?
4. You mentioned that these family members of crime victims sometimes tell their stories to the inmate directly...Have you witnessed one of these sessions?
What is the reaction of the inmates? Do you think there is any merit, in making large groups of inmates attend such sessions?
5. How has this training directly affected you, other than the obvious you already stated?
6. How has it changed your attitude towards the inmates if any?
7. How can such a program be instituted for the inmates in a way that It might foster rehabilitation?
8. Do you think there is any benefit for all Correction Officers to partake in a similar training program to the one you experienced?
Thanks for your thoughts in advance.....Doc:D

First things first...Raven, thanks so much for doing all you have! Your successes are saving lives, believe that!

For everyone's general information: The most dangerous time for a battered wife/girlfriend/significant is when they make a decision to leave the batterer and the batterer finds out. He realizes that he's losing control, and that's often when the killing happens. I personally talked with two victims this week who related this firsthand, and it's very widespread.

To answer Doc's questions:
1. The training benefits us because we are so highly impacted by talking with the victims and going through their presentation. It's amazingly motivational, in that we feel a great deal of pain for them and through them, and we don't want others to have to go through it. It's the best motivator I could think of.

In addition, we talked about how to prepare the victims to speak to inmates if they have no experience, as well as debriefing the speaker and the inmates afterward. We discussed minute details such as how to set up the classroom physically for the best advantage and comfort of the victims. Every detail was covered, and the focus is on the victims, because they are what this is all about.

2. Most inmates have family members, and the victims speaking to them often make them realize that the shoe could be on the other foot some day. Plus, the intensity that one feels while being part of the audience is extremely touching; I'm told that many inmates are in tears throughout the presentations. Sometimes, it's just a simple matter of the inmate not realizing the "Ripple Effect" that their actions can cause.

They think they "just" killed one person, and this makes them realize just how many victims their actions affected; mothers, wives, husbands, children, aunts, uncles, emergency responders....the list goes on and on. It's an eye-opener for them.

3. We cover an entire manual of information that is specifically designed to make the inmates aware of how their crimes affect many people. The speakers are living proof of it, and I can't underscore their importance enough.

4. I've not yet witnessed a victim relating their story to a class of inmates. However, all of our instructors have witnessed it, and told us everything they know about how it works out. They were a wealth of knowledge.

5. The training has affected me deeply. Not all of it has been positive. Bluntly, this past week of training has been traumatic for me emotionally. It scarred me and scared me. It's not easy listening to the stories, and my empathy for the victims made me cry and wish I could help them in some way. Realizing that we can't bring their loved ones back gives me a very helpless feeling.

It's made me a better person, in that it forced me to remember that life does not go on forever. I'm hugging my kids and wife more (not that I didn't do this before, I'm a big hugger/kisser; I just do it constantly now!). It's helped my patience grow and my anger decrease, especially with my kids. I want to make life the very best it can be, because we never know how long we'll be blessed with life. It's given me insight that I might not have had. I knew all these things before, but there's nothing like listening to eight people who've lost loved ones to make it crystal clear.

6. My attitude toward inmates....well, I've never really liked their pissing & moaning, whining and crying, and their self-centered, selfish attitudes in the past. Now I'll be even less tolerant of their narcissitic tendencies.

At the same time, now I'm equipped with many living examples of exactly how their evil deeds affect others, so I can better help them see this.

7. To foster rehabilitation, we need more resources, ie., time to teach the course. We're being overwhelmed right now with the programs we're currently teaching that are mandatory.

One thing about this course in our DOC: it's not mandatory. We rely on word of mouth between inmates, and they always give it a very high recommendation to other inmates. We carefully screen which inmates are selected for this group; we don't want inmates that are uncontrollable, but we do accept some of the a$$holes in an effort to make them see what their crimes have done.

Since it's not a mandatory course, this will not count toward their parole or anything; they receive no credit for it. That means the inmates who volunteer for it want to be there, they don't have to be. Most of the ones in the class are open-minded and want to learn, which ups the success factor.

8. Not only do I think CO's should attend, I think every single person in the entire criminal justice system should attend; judges, attornies, CO's, cops, psychologists, every damn body. There are quite a few in our system that are incredibly liberal and who are just in love with giving inmates every damn right they can think of. They need to talk to some of these victims and realize just what the hell happens for these inmates to be thrown into prison. I believe judges would be less lenient on sentencing if they'd take this program.

I'll say this: normally, when I take a DOC training course, it's boring, generally useless, and a waste of time. This course was not only stellar by DOC standards, but it would even be stellar by "outside" standards. If I'd have plunked money down on this course, I'd have gotten my money's worth, and then a whole bunch more. It was that damn good!

I'm going to stay in touch with a few of the victims; I just feel a real bond with them.

Oh, and that's another thing; the victims that are voluntarily involved in speaking to inmates universally get a lot of satisfaction from doing it. All have stated that it's therapeutic when they get to speak to others about what happened. It's a way for their deceased loved ones to still have a voice that lives on. Plus, they help others at the same time, potentially saving other people from having to go through the pain that they themselves experienced. That made all of us really happy to find out.

I hope I answered your questions, please feel free to ask more.

Dr. Snubnose

05-11-2008, 11:55 PM

Thanks for taking the time Jim to answer all of my questions...I found this thread and your answers to be most informative....Thanks again Doc:D

spydo

05-12-2008, 01:28 AM

Great reading, Jim

Off topic thinking I had yesterday watching a documentary about prisons. When I was watching inmates doing workouts and seeing that many are above average when it comes to fitness level I started thinking how stupid that is. Lets make dangerous criminals even more dangerous. What I was thinking and it might sound silly is, why not make them really fat. And I mean fat! Lazy fat. When they'll get out, they'll be too lazy to do any crime and they would also loose respect. I know that they probably wouldn't work because of that but I think many just go to their old "jobs" anyway so no big difference here. Not to mention they probably wouldn't be so problematic when in prison. Put McDonald's inside and watch their fat accumulate. More fat, less problems :) Silly but it might just work. Sorry for off topic stuff.

Jimd

05-13-2008, 09:10 PM

Doc, no problem, glad to be of assistance. If you have more questions, fire away!

Spydo, that's not a stupid idea, I love it! To take it even farther, I've suggested that all the inmates be permitted to purchase their own Wii systems. Many would become addicted, sitting in their cells for hours or days on end, mesmerized by the video games. They'd get fat, and in the process, they'd be out of our hair, as well!:D