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Hannibal Lecter
06-11-2008, 06:41 AM
My Dear Forum Family,

I have been keeping tabs on things here a bit more than usual of late, and hope to contribute more often as time goes on.



I do need to share this. It has been an interesting and difficult past few weeks.



Several weeks ago, my 76-year old mother fell ill. A trip to the hospital via ambulance accomplished nothing, as both the lung x-ray (she smoked since her early teens) and CT of her head came back clear. Since the local hospital treating her was inundated with transfers from another facility from the other side of the county they couldn’t admit her. They sent her home with oxygen and advised to wait and see if the symptoms subsided.

Several days later she had lost most of the use of her right side and couldn’t walk. Back to the hospital, and a repeat CT scan proved what we suspected all along – a fairly massive stroke.

Please keep in mind that she weighs 88 pounds at this point in time.

She was transferred to HealthSouth, an aggressive rehab facility two-and-one-half hours away. Upon her arrival, routine bloodwork showed elevated cardiac enzymes that indicated a heart attack had also occurred recently.

Across town to the hospital. An overnight there before being shipped back to HealthSouth. Several days of aggressive physical rehab. A series of smaller strokes. Back to the hospital. A heart attack. Another stroke, this time taking all of the movement in both arms and also her speech.

HealthSouth declined to readmit her, citing her health as being too poor to withstand their level of rehab.

May 30 they transferred her to the rehab wing of a nursing home about a half-hour from here. About ten minutes after her arrival she passed, probably a massive heart attack.

I managed to get to the facility about ten minutes after she passed. Two of my three siblings were already there waiting, and third was coming in from out of state.

I hate to lose her, but at the same time I know it is what she wanted. She was tired from a lifetime of taking care of everyone around her. She had lost her husband, both of her sisters, and most everyone she grew up with. Three of her four children still lived near her, but all four are independent adults living good lives.

Mom wanted to be cremated; she always said that the thoughts of a bunch of people staring at her dead body creeped her out terribly. No wake (or viewing, depending on what part of the country you hail from) and no funeral services. She wants her ashes put on her mother’s grave (we checked and cleared the specifics with the cemetery).

In lieu of a service, we are having a party, a celebration of her life. No dark colors allowed, only bright ones with purple being preferred (her favorite). Mom also had a thing for hats (she owns a bunch, mostly gifts) and so hats are mandatory at the event.

Some people in attendance admittedly won’t understand why we are choosing to celebrate in this way; if they don’t understand it I can only postulate they really didn’t know our Mom as well as they might have thought. She was a fun, vibrant, passionate Lady who always loved a good party.



She will be missed.



None of this is intended as a prayer request; I am blessed in so many respects I would deem it selfish and inconsiderate to ask such a thing. What I will ask instead is that you celebrate with me the life of my mother, the fine Lady that was so instrumental in making her children responsible and caring adults.

During the course of her illness I found out that the facility where I have been working for the past year or so is closing and I will be out of a job. I found out via telephone from a good friend in the facility who thought I deserved a heads-up; two minutes after the call ended I was delivering a repaired computer to a local business and they offered me a job.

We quickly worked out the particulars, though they had to run the job opening in the local paper for two weeks before making hiring decisions. I waited somewhat impatiently, knowing that at any time my current job would end and didn’t want to be a long period of time without income.

At lunch one afternoon I received a call that the closure date for the facility was being moved up several weeks; they just didn’t have the money to stay open. After ending the call I was putting my cell phone back into my pocket and it started ringing again; it was the head of HR at the new job asking if I could come in the following day for an interview and then start the following Monday.

So, here I sit at the new job. Good pay, great benefits, and exactly one minute and thirty seconds from my driveway to my parking spot out in front of the building. I am now the IT System Administrator for a state agency, with eighteen days a year vacation, fifteen sick days, and fifteen holidays. I guess the best question is: when do I actually work? ROTFL!

My thanks to you all for listening, and I will see you all here much more often in the coming weeks... :D

Hannibal

dete
06-11-2008, 06:58 AM
My condolences to your recent tragedy.

My Uncle has recently been diagnosed with terminal illness, and this will be the second passing of a family member for me.

As far as your new job, great to hear, good luck with it, and take care.

KaliGman
06-11-2008, 07:07 AM
Hannibal,

I've already expressed my condolences, but will do so again in this more public venue. I am glad that the new job worked out. Take care my friend.

Jon


Dete,

Sorry to hear about your family. Best wishes to you in this difficult time.

ozspyder
06-11-2008, 07:21 AM
Dearest Hannibal,

My sincerest condolences for your loss, and my sincerest happiness for you in being able to have been raised by obviously one of the more influential people in your life. You mother was an obvious ray of sunshine in this world of ours. I hope you are able to carry on her light and pass it to all whom you come in contact with.

With regards to your job....isn't it funny how things just work out sometimes. And sometimes it works out much better than anyone could've planned :D It sounds like a dream job. Maybe everything in this world is related and with one loss comes another gain.

Best wishes to you and your loved ones.

GeorgeMaggos
06-11-2008, 07:27 AM
Hello HL,

I am sorry for your loss. It sounds like your mother was a great woman & lived a good & full life I understand from what you said & her wishes about a wake & funeral why your having a party to celebrate that, it will be a good way for all that knew her to say good-bye & to celebrate her life, not to mourn her death.

What a roller coaster ride it seems to have been with your job as well & then finding another one & it sounds like it is a real good one as well & so close to your home with benefits etc it does not sound like it was a coincendence the way it unfolded.

I have learned in my life when one door closes, another opens & if I am not sitting there staring at the closed door wondering why it happened, why it closed, why me, then I will see the one that was opened right away just for me & from your story it sounds like that what happened to you as well.

I believe there is a unwritten law in life, that our lives are constantly changing so we dont get stuck, so we dont stay stuck, so we continue to grow.

I also believe nothing happens in Gods world by mistake, so celebrate your mothers life, enjoy your new job & keep trudging the road of life it is a wonderful ride of up's & downs.


Thanks for sharing part of your ride with us take care :)

~George

Th232
06-11-2008, 07:33 AM
It's curious how things work out, as you probably know by now. Very sorry to hear of your loss, I never knew her, but from your conduct, she sounds like she was a good person. I'm also very happy that the new job worked out for you, you definitely deserve it.

Dete, also very sorry to hear about your uncle.

bluemist
06-11-2008, 10:08 AM
1.5 minute commute? Leave the car at home if you can, I've been blessed w/ a job with a 15 minute mass transit commute. My trips to and from work are the most relaxed parts of my day. enjoy! A carless commute is a true blessing.

Your mom sounds like my grandma, she passed 06/07/08. No funeral, cremation, didn't want anyone making a fuss in life or in death, she was 82, a marvelous generation.

dete
06-11-2008, 10:23 AM
Hannibal,
Dete,

Sorry to hear about your family. Best wishes to you in this difficult time.

thank you, and very nice of you to say.

The Mastiff
06-11-2008, 10:39 AM
Hannibal, you're another person that I find easy to admire for your spirit, wisdom, and overall outlook on life. For someone with these traits, bouncing back with a better job may look like luck or coincidence to some, but not to those that know.

My thoughts, prayers and regards are with you and your family during this time. Joe

Dr. Snubnose
06-11-2008, 10:44 AM
Doctor Han, Very sorry to hear of your loss...My deep felt condolences to you and your family....Doc

Simple Man
06-11-2008, 12:17 PM
My condolences Doc, she was obviously a special person.

As odd as it may sound, having a loved one go over a several week period can be a blessing. My mother passed away of cancer almost 8 years ago. It had been in remission over a year then came back aggressively and she really went downhill in only a week or so. We were able to spend a lot of time together there at the end and really had much of the grieving process underway and over with even before the funeral. Her service was also a joyous celebration of her life, God showed up. Everyone knew she loved the Lord and is in a better place.



Congrats on the new job BTW.

TheKnifeCollector
06-11-2008, 12:24 PM
Dearest Hannibal:
I am deeply sorry for the loss of your beloved Mother. :(:( I am also sorry of all that she went through before passing. God rest her soul.

Congrats on the new job!! One door closes, another one opens!

The Deacon
06-11-2008, 06:00 PM
Hannibal,

My sincere condolences on the passing of your mother. Losing a parent, even when you know they were ready to make that final journey, is never easy. May the memories of her life bring you and the rest of her family comfort.

As for the new job, great news, those sound like some sweet benefits. Best of luck sir!

raven
06-11-2008, 06:29 PM
Hey Hannibal, I'm Very Sorry For Your Loss ... Prayers Sent For You and Your Family. CONGRATS on the New Job and Wish You The Best Of Luck ;).

dete, I'm also Sorry For Your Loss ... Prayers and Good Thoughts Sent To You and Yours ;).

Take Good Care and Be Safe Always.

God Bless :)


-raven-

David Lowry
06-11-2008, 06:36 PM
Hey brother, I'm sorry for the loss of your mother. I am pretty darn proud of you for having a party and making the best of it and not allowing dark colors. That's mighty fine of you my friend.

I'm glad that you got a new job. God never closes a door without opening another. You'll have to forward me your new work address and info. I'll shoot you that email that I've been meaning to send.

One last thing... This is the first time I've ever read something that you wrote that I didn't see or feel one bit of Hannibal in. You know what...? I like it.

Regardless of your wants or needs I will still say prayers for you and your family.

Peaace bro.
-D

A.P.F.
06-11-2008, 07:10 PM
My deepest condolences on the passing of your Mother, Dr. H, and congratulations on your new job. May you find equilibrium and happiness during these times.

Shike
06-11-2008, 08:00 PM
My condolences. I think you are right in celebrating her life. I have lost both of my parents so I can relate to what you are going thru.

Interesting how things happen with jobs ( well things in general). One door closes and a better one opens. IMO it often has to do with your own outlook on life in general. Best of luck in your new job.

Best regards

Shike

Agent Starling
06-11-2008, 09:00 PM
Hannibal, very sorry to hear the news of your mother's passing, but glad to hear that your job change fell into place pretty quickly.

Agent Starling :)

Jimd
06-11-2008, 09:09 PM
Wow, Hannibal, you've had some serious stuff going on!

I'm very sorry to hear of your mother's passing. Not much that I can say that will be very soothing, except that I'm here if you'd like to talk.

Re. the new job - CONGRATS!!!! Sounds like you caught a real blessing on that one! Enjoy it, you deserve good things!

Water Bug
06-11-2008, 09:22 PM
Hannibal, sorry to hear of the loss of your mother. You certainly had a lot going on in your world with her passing and the uncertainty of your employment. Sounds like a happy ending, though... the celebration of her life and the offer of a new job. Take care.

And, dete, sorry to hear of your loss. Hope things are going well for you and your family. Take care.

bigkahunasix
06-11-2008, 09:49 PM
As with KaliGman, I have spoken with you on this several times and you have my families deepest condolences.

BK6 & family

DAYWALKER
06-12-2008, 02:48 AM
Dr. Han,

I know you did not start this thread for prayer, but you know you have been in mine daily. You have my condolences bro.:(

God bless you and yours always.

Hannibal Lecter
06-12-2008, 05:41 AM
My Dear David,


One last thing... This is the first time I've ever read something that you wrote that I didn't see or feel one bit of Hannibal in. You know what...? I like it.

I suppose that stems largely from writing exactly what I am thinking with blatant reckless abandon, without regard to phrasing or word selection. :D

I admittedly have been a bit less uptight of late in my various postings, opting instead to be more conversational. Even my verbal exchanges with others have become a bit more relaxed in everyday life.

I am of mixed emotions about this trend. Part of me feels compelled to continue the mystique of my forum persona, as I really did and do enjoy writing in that style; another part of me feels that I should write in a more laid-back manner, more in line with my true personality as it has evolved.

Time will tell which way it will go, I suppose. :cool:

My very best to all here for your well-wishes! A santé, mes amis!

--------
Hannibal

224477
06-12-2008, 06:16 AM
Sorry to hear that Hannibal, my condolences Bro.

stonyman
06-12-2008, 09:20 AM
Hannibal, eventhough I did not speak with you personally, I will send my prayers to you publicly over the loss of your mother. I tell you what, it seems like she made some provisions would be sent for you as she passed over. Bro, I am inspired by the way you and your family have taken this process. You my friend are one wise and well respected individual in my by book!

Congrats on your new job and God Bless You and dete my prayers are with you and your family also. Take care everyone.;)

KP
06-12-2008, 10:59 AM
Very sorry to learn of your loss... Feel your pain. Please accept my deep felt condolences.

psimonl
06-12-2008, 02:02 PM
Dear Hannibal....

I am very pleased to see you as a young boy who respect her mother's last will.
It is not often we see children agreeing to make a farewell party for their mother. You must cherish your siblings....

You are gifted...

As for your new job, well, as I always said, you get what you deserves and or what you worked for....!!!

And I sure hope you won't be driving those 1.5 minutes but will be walking, running or just old plain bike riding that distance...


Take care old mate,

Simon

Ps.: I too do like that "being me" approach...!

snuffaluff
06-12-2008, 05:31 PM
My Good Doctor,

I'll be praying for you and your family whether you'd ask for it or not. May the Lord Bless you and keep you and make His face to shine upon you.

I walk 50' to work, I haven't timed it though. Hope you enjoy the blessings of your new job. And just so you know, I think you work on Mondays. ;)

pedro navaja
06-13-2008, 03:16 PM
Hannibal,
My condolences for your lost. My mother passed away recently in similar circumstances and I know she wanted to rest.
As times passes the pain gives way to the good memories
Best

silverback
06-14-2008, 07:08 AM
My condolences.

You are having strange ups and downs lately - all the best for your new job.

tonydahose
06-14-2008, 01:05 PM
first off i am sorry for your loss. i think celebrating her life is a very cool thing to do. i am sure there are thousands of happy moments in your mom's life from having you and your siblings and watching all of you grow up to something as simple as a grandchild saying "grandma" with a big toothless grin and a hug that follows. hats off (or on:)) to your mom for living a full life. good luck with the new job!